just the girls...

...and I ventured to Mother's Beach in Long Beach yesterday ALL BY OURSELVES! Oye, I thought I was setting myself up for failure since it was just me BUT we had a blast. I brought enough toys and snacks to keep the girls busy. They had such a great time playing in the sand, making sand castles, chasing seagulls and even playing in the freezing water! Even better, I realized Char is old enough to play along with the girls and I can actually lay out and relax...such a great way to blow a couple hours, get a tan and exhaust the girls!!

needless to say, we will be doing this A LOT!

.introducing.

Matteo "Teo" Pallante

05.17.09

8lbs 15oz

The Pallante's are now a perfect little family of 4~

Congratulations to my bestie, Joannah, Shea and BIG sister Jordan.

.so glad to be home.

i have some wonderful updated news on my mama...

SHE'S HOME!!!

yup, she was discharged from the hospital on Sunday the 17th. At first I was hesitant and to be honest a little apprehensive about her discharge, but today has been a good day for her and when I spoke to her a couple hours ago, she sounded really good. I still have very strong feelings about the hospital she was at still feel as though she was 'kicked out', but that's for another day...

she still has painful headaches and now her tailbone is more painful than anything. the doctor said it is 'probably' from the blood settling around her tailbone from laying in bed and now it has aggravated the nerves and such. apparently, headaches, neck pain, back pain are common in patients with brain hemorrhages for months after the initial trauma...however she did have a CT scan today to see if the headaches may be caused by hydrocephalus (fluid in the brain).

a CT angiogram is set to be scheduled in 1-2 weeks at USC...just to make sure an aneurysm wasn't the cause.

other than that, my mom is in good spirits and happy to be able to spend some time with hannah, alyssa and char. the girls talk about grandma everyday and are so excited that she is home and 'getting better'.

"How Loverly To Be A Woman"

last friday night the twins performed in their very first ballet recital. i have to admit i was one of those mom's (you know who i'm talking about) with a perm-a-grin and yes, i almost cried...almost. i guess it must have been the overwhelming sense of PRIDE i have for my girls...I'm going to try to get the video on here, but for now it's just some of the pictures

my little ballerinas

sleep-over...

...in the living room

a random sat night the girls asked if they could have a sleepover in the living room...sure, but both dave and I thought the girls would get too scared and end up in their beds anyway...well they showed us...instead, they fell asleep immediately and when I went to check on them - this is what I found...notice their positions...I guess thats a "twin thing"

.happy.birthday.mama.

today has been another good day...

for one it's my mama's 49th birthday and I was able to make her and JD dinner and take it to hospital...crab, shrimp scampi with linguini made to order!!

secondly, her ventriculostomy (brain drain) was REMOVED!!! I'm a little torn between excitement and apprehension...on one hand this is a HUGE step in my mom's recovery but one the other hand I was starting to feel a certain level of comfort with that drain.

my mom has reached a point that all she can talk about and all she wants is to go home...however, at this point I really don't know how she would handle being at home. I'm assuming she'll have some sort of neurological rehabilitation and I have to have faith that the dr's will make all the right decisions...

as I left my mom and JD to enjoy their dinner my mom said, "honey, today was a good day."

.mother's.day.

I'm late with my mother's day post...so mama, when you get the chance to read this, I'm sorry...;)

This mothers day was very different from any other mothers day I've experienced and on Sunday (mother's day) i spent my morning getting a mani and pedi and then off to the hospital to spend the whole day with my mama... we didn't talk much, but i was able to watch her sleep- probably like she use to do with me when i was itsy bitsy and then she would catch me watching her and she'd make some silly comment, but all i could think of and imagine is the fact that I came "this close" to losing her and having to spend a Mother's Day without MY mama.

Two weeks ago, my life changed forever and I can say now that I am so-so THANKFUL for my mom. She had me at 18 and raised me as a single mom...and now I can proudly say, she raised me pretty darn well!!! We've had our ups and downs, but she brought me into this world and I will be forever thankful to her for loving me unconditionally and for accepting me for who I am.

She's shown me what a Mother's Love is all about and now that I have my own children I can understand what that is and can only hope my girls will one day understand the LOVE I have for them...

Happy Mother's Day Mama...forever and always my mama you'll be...

today.was.a.good.day.

it a great thing when my post titles seem to be starting a pattern of "good days." Although, I 'm still hesitant to make a BIG deal over it because I'm scared of jinxing it...

BUT, on a good note...today was in fact a GOOD day for my mom.

She had a 3rd CT scan and the results were good...they see improvement in her brain, and by 'improvement' I mean NO HYDROCEPHALUS....YAY.... Her ventriculostomy (brain drain) was clamped today and her ICP (intracranial pressure) remained around 9, which is GOOD, very good...The nurse has an order to unclamp the drain if her pressure is at a 25 for more than 30 minutes...This is showing that her brain is reabsorbing the fluid like healthy brains do...another GOOD. She sat up at ate her breakfast and lunch in a chair today which was a first for her so her muscles in her legs were cramping up and super sore.

I'm still waiting to hear from the Dr. at USC and still considering getting her transferred. My gut is not letting it go just because she's showing progress...

.i.gotta.say...today.was.a.good.day

i've got to start off by saying...mama has significant improvement from wednesday. thank the Lord!!! the EEG results were negative, which means there weren't any seizure activity...so the reason for the 'fog' is still unknown but we do know that she hasn't had any 'fog' spells since wednesday... Yesterday was the first day my mom was able to eat solid food and she eat all it up. poor thing hadn't really eaten anything for a whole week!! her alertness and responsiveness have come back and she's now starting to get frustrated at herself for not being able to remember certain things or believing certain things occurred when in fact they haven't. It's almost like her brain in on overdrive and all these thoughts and memories are all trying to escape at the same time! she talks non-stop, but soon forgets what she's saying. focusing and answering questions seem to be difficult for her right now because she wants to explain everything... I'm trying to explain her condition in as much detail as i can without it sounding too convoluted. i may have failed to do that though...sorry



while i was with her this evening, a Transcranial Dopplar Ultrasound was performed (1st of 3) to measure the blood flow in the vessels on her brain...stay tuned for the results...

before we make the decision to transfer my mom to USC, we are having her chart, CT scan and Angiogram sent up to Dr. Donald Larsen, Head of Neurology Dept at USC to review and offer a second opinion. She will also be taken there for her 3rd angiogram (date hasn't been set). We are still considering having her transferred, but we figured it makes more sense to do this first before she goes through the stress of moving...

at the end of the day, my mama was comfortable, full and tired.

thursday.may.7.2009

.in the end - it was a good day.

as I wrote my last post, my mom's Neurologist was witnessing the 'fog' my mom has been experiencing and admitted it wasn't normal and ordered an EEG and started her back on the anti-seizure meds she was on during the weekend... we still don't know if she was experiencing seizures (the 'fog'), but I DO know that my mom is doing better...

we are also in the process of getting her transferred to USC Medical Center or UCLA. as a family, we've decided that in her condition, she's better off at a trauma facility and facility that has an expertise in neuro...

thank you again for all the warm wishes, positive thoughts and prayers.

good days..and..bad days

I didn't realize the last update was Monday. My days are officially running together and i'm emotionally drained.

my mom is still in ICU and it looks like it will be this way for a while...what's a while??...who knows at this point.

Monday and Tuesday (day) were good days. My mom was alert and responsive and was even joking with us, BUT something happened Tuesday night...she became disoriented, confused and ended up pulling her IV out, so she had to be put in restraints. Wednesday morning she went in for her cerebral angiogram and was even able to get a peek and some kisses from Charlotte in the hall on her way to the procedure...the look on my mom's face was priceless-i'll never forget that moment...from the time she left and returned to her room, she had changed, and it wasn't for the better.... she had become completely unresponsive to a point where she was staring at me but she couldn't/wouldn't squeeze my hand, blink an eye or say a word. It scared the crap out of me and I then realized that her condition is still VERY serious. By the end of the day, her 'episodes' would last a few minutes and then she'd come back to us and her herself, per say. And by the way

She went in for a CT this morning, which I'm still waiting to talk to the Dr about, but overall, she is doing better...still confused and it seems like her short term memory just isn't there, but she's responsive and recognizes her family. She still falls into that "fog", but it seems to coming less and less...

update on my mama

update.

As of this morning, my mom is in stable condition. She is responsive and alert and can have a conversation but still gets confused and forgetful. She is sleeping a lot, which is what we want right now so her brain gets the rest.

A Cerebral Angiogram is scheduled for tomorrow to see if there is any indication of an aneurysm. The first angiogram didn't show any evidence and the Dr. said the odds that they DO find an aneurysm in the 1st angiogram is 98%...so the fact that they haven't yet is good news. If my mom continues on the road to recovery she has been the past couple days, the Dr. says he doesn't foresee brain damage. It may be a LONG road to recovery, but a full recovery... Now, if they happen to find an aneurysm then everything changes. They will have to operate and then she will have to recover all over again from square one.

Everything is still up in the air because they still don't know what may have caused the hemorrhage. There are factors that may have contributed to the hemorrhage (vomiting for the past week, high blood pressure, smoking) but they won't be able to tell until the bleeding and fluids subside. But as of today, my mom's vitals are stable, the pressure in her head is decreasing and the blood in her brain is subsiding. She's even beginning to get a little frisky and "nosey", trying to eavesdrop on the nurses conversations.

Thank you to all our family and friends who have kept my mom in your thoughts and prayers and for the emails, calls, texts and facebook messages!!! It's a wonderful feeling to know how much my mom is loved!

.friday.may.1.2009

Friday morning my mama was rushed to the hospital with what was thought to be a brain aneurysm. In the ER, a shunt was inserted into her head to relieve the pressure and a breathing tube was also inserted because she was having difficulty breathing on her own. At one point, her blood pressure was dangerously high and her heart rate dropped to 27 and they thought she wasn’t going to survive BUT she pulled through…a CT scan was performed and they couldn’t see any evidence of a ruptured aneurysm, so the report said she experienced a SUBARACHNOID HEMORRHAGE.

Her breathing tube has been removed and she is now breathing on her own and is responsive to us. The Doctors and Nurses have explained that she is still in critical condition and there is still a high possibility that bleeding can occur again…We won’t know exactly what kind of damage has been done until the brain swelling goes down, which they say will be about a week or so. BUT, the good news is…she’s talking to us and I can see “her old self”…for example, she opened her eyes and saw me and said, “you didn’t come all the way home from the river just for me, did you?”…only my mom would say that!!!

Last night before I left the hospital, the nurse asked her a series of questions (year, month, do you know where you are) and she got them all right. She also asked her to raise each arm and leg and hold it for 10 seconds, which she passed with flying colors. She is also aware that she is very sick and has ‘liquid in her brain’ as she called it. The nurses told me she is doing remarkably well considering what she went through and one nurse who was with her in the ER said it’s a miracle she woke up from what he saw yesterday morning…my dear mama is a fighter and always has been so I know she isn’t going to give up and she will come out of this!
She went in for another CT Scan this morning and I’ll be able to talk to the Neurologist later on today, so I’ll make sure to keep you all updated on her status. I’m staying optimistic and positive but also know there is a long road to recovery, so I ask you to please keep my mama in your thoughts and prayers and remember to keep your loved ones close…